Thunderhawk's new coming

Subject: Thunderhawk's new coming Thu Apr 09, 2009 12:45 am

The lights flash for a while before fading out suddenly. A thunder noise is heard in the distance as an unknown music hits the arena.

Thunderhawk enters the ring staring at the crowd. The first remarkable thing is that he wears a black mask, not his usual white one. He slowly climbs up the ramp and enters the ring, who ends up hit by lightnings. He grabs a mic from the announcer and a steel chair from the outside of the ring, sitting on it right in the middle of the square.

"Good evening ..." some fans start to cheer, but the great majority keeps silent. "I am not here to start boasting ... so start worrying, I would say ..."
He stops a second or two staring at the entrance of the ring. Without stopping looking at the tron, he keeps talking. "As you may all know, I have been, or better, i am sick ... Don't know what I have. Attacks, blood spitting ..."

He coughs nervously. "But I am here to tell something to all of you. The title of that song is very represantative ..." He grins, and many fans cheer. "I am not here to complain about my problems ... Never complained about something. I will not start now. And so, i will never fall back from a challenge."

He stands up and coughs more violently before going to crouch on a turnbuckle. "Soon ... Very soon, I'll face theRock in this ring. You may wonder : what is this crazy guy doing ... a blow and he will fall down senseless ... If theRock hits him, he will perhaps end in hospital ..." He stops and watches the crowd.

"Well, i will tell you a thing. I don't give a damn. I will stand in this ring as usual, and i will face theRock as a normal fight. Far from me is the idea of looking for excuses to warn of my possible defeat ... I take this ending in deep consideration, theRock being an excellent fighter ...
But no. I will not turn my back. I will fight as usual ... and i promise i will pin theRock right here, monday ...
Shall it be the last thing i will do in my life. No-one and nothing can prevent me from it.
And better ... I can guarantee i will do my best to pin him ... i believe in it. "Yes, I can" ... Perhaps, we'll see. In any case, sickness will not keep me in bed. Surely not."

He stops taking his breath as some blood spills from the side of his mouth, slipping under his mask. He looks at it then smiles, nodding his head negatively.
"What do you want me to do ? Stay at home ?"[color] The fans start chanting his name. [color=red]"Thanks ... But what should i do, tell me ..."

Many fans shout "Fight ! Fight !" while others, a bit less, boo him.
Thunderhawk grins : "My new era has begun last week. I will keep it up monday. Let me introduce you to the new Thunderhawk ... Why that ?
You will see ... i'll explain it to you after monday, if God keeps me alive. New mask ... New song ... You'll see ! We'll have fun ... Fear will begin on monday"

He grins and stares at the Tron to wait if someone enters while his real new music rings :

Guest

On two occassions, you've accidentally kept some text in red, even though you're not saying it:
1. In the beginning, starting from: He stops a second or two staring...
2. And near the end, the line: The fans start chanting his name.

Also there's one line that's not fully correct:
a blow and he will fall down senseless ... If theRock hits him, I will perhaps end in hospital ...
First you talk about yourself in third person (he will fall, hits him) and at the end you switch to first person (I will perhaps).
Since it's supposed to be what the fans are thinking, I'd change the last part into "he might end up in the hospital.."

Subject: Re: Thunderhawk's new coming Thu Apr 09, 2009 5:39 am

corrected it, thanks Wink

Simple Forumer Posts : 35 Join date : 2009-03-27

Suddenly the music stops ringing and silence is in the arena.
After a few endless seconds you hear "Can you smell what theRock is cookin'?" and theRock's entrance theme hits.
Then, after seconds again, theRock walks down the ramp.

With a mic in his hands he begins to speak slowly and calm: Didnt your mummy told you not to promise more than you can live up to?Well now you know it!

You are standing there with an awkward mask. Maybe you should drop it so everybody can see who looses next to theRock. Or, maybe, you should take your mask off after you lost to me so nobody knows that you are the weak guy, who ended in hospital after the RockBottom and never got out of it again because he often gets epileptic attacks!

Maybe you should stay at home... Dont get me wrong I want to fight you, but not in that condition. You already promised that you are in good health, but we saw before, you think that it doesnt matter what you promise. Take the advice, althoug I dont think you'll do it.
Train a little bit so we can have a good match and not a sick one.

theRock smiles and turns around

Subject: Re: Thunderhawk's new coming Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:15 am

Thunderhawk laughs and suddenly snaps his fingers. The lights go out and when they came back ten seconds after, Thunderhawk is standing, with his arms crossed, in front of theRock.

"You know what ... Maybe you're right on a point. I should drop this mask. But i will not right now ... I will when you will have taken a Shiranui Drop or a LSK right in that smiling face. So you will see who, or better what has beaten you."

Thunder stops to judge theRock's reaction. Nothing : he grins
"I will do even if I lose ... but don't count too much on that. And about my illness ... You should thank god i am ill ... or i would kick you ass right here, right now ... keep this advantage you have ..."

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